hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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