I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
