come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
im on a boat
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