In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
