He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
