no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
