what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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