shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
