Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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