OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
