dude i'm inner monologue high
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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