Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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