Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
