girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
