wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
