No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
