hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
