Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
this beer tastes like vomit already
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
