So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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