Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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