the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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