I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
