We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
