I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
