I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
wow bdsm is so cute
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
