I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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