btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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