I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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