is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
