is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
