Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
