Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
