Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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