that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
