Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize