I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I look better un-naked...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
