Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
