It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
