Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
