The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
