You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize