You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Non-Jews are for practice
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
