i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
