so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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