I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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