Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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