Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
