I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
