At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
