I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
