she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
