We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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