does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
