And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
