I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i permit you to call me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
