just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
