How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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