Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
