No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This girl is more easily done than said...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
