you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
