i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
